


Of Lightsabers and Legacies

by BarbaraFett



Series: The Continuing Adventures of Anakin Skywalker, Guardian Spirit [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Confessions, Family, Force Ghost Anakin Skywalker, Force Ghost Obi-Wan Kenobi, Force Ghost Qui-Gon Jinn, Force Ghosts, Force Visions, Gen, Haunted Houses, Haunting, Inheritance, Light Angst, Lightsabers, Post-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Reunions, Rey Skywalker, Self-Doubt, Summoning, Visions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-01
Updated: 2016-11-01
Packaged: 2018-08-28 09:10:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8439817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BarbaraFett/pseuds/BarbaraFett
Summary: For years, Kylo Ren has dreamed of summoning the terrifying, vengeful specter of Darth Vader and learning from him. Little does he know that the ghost he seeks is actually benevolent and helpful, and wants only to show him the way back to the Light. (Happy Halloween!)





	

On a remote island on an obscure planet called Ahch-To, the Force is awake and is growing stronger every day. After a long period of self-imposed exile and isolation, Luke Skywalker has finally taken on a new apprentice. Rey is often angry and impatient, much like Luke was before her, and I was before that, but she is learning to control her emotions. I enjoy watching her grow as she trains to become a Jedi.

According to Obi-Wan, she progressed out of the training-remote phase just as quickly as Luke did, if not even more so. Today, she is using the lightsaber that once belonged to me, and later to Luke, to demonstrate the techniques she used in her duel against Kylo Ren. Luke is showing her how she could refine them.

"Always your mind on your family, Anakin," Master Yoda breaks in on my thoughts. "Since the day we met, changed you have not."

"No, I guess I haven't," I say. "And I never will. I care about my family, and I know they care about me. It's a strength, not a weakness. Master Windu sees my point of view now, why don't you?"

"Concern yourself with the affairs of the living, you need not. Find their own paths to their own destinies, they can. Rest, you should. Earned it, you have."

"Thank you, Master, but I can't rest right now. This is too exciting."

"Excitement, hmph. Enough of excitement, I have had." He leaves me to my observation.

As Rey and Luke begin sparring, their movements sending ripples of energy through the Force, I suddenly feel... different. More... complete, somehow... but that doesn't make sense. I tear my attention away from Ahch-To and reach out with my feelings to determine what has happened. It only takes a moment to realize that there, in its old place on my belt, is my lightsaber. I unclip it and examine it. It is identical to the one Rey is using right now, except that it's as immaterial and semi-transparent as I am.

"Whoa," I say. "What... _why?_ "

Curious to see what will happen, I activate it. There is a faint, ghostly _snap-hiss_ and a blue blade appears, but it's hard to make out. It blends in too well with the formless blue void I'm floating in.

"Anakin?" Obi-Wan says, sensing my confusion and appearing at my side. "What's going on?"

"I'm not sure," I say, deactivating the lightsaber. "It looks like the Force decided to give me a gift. For some inscrutable reason, when Luke started teaching Rey how to really use our old lightsaber, I got it back. See?" I hand it to Obi-Wan to let him look at it. Flashes of memory burn across our mental link, and he quickly hands it back to me.

"That's it, all right," he says. "You said Luke was teaching Rey to use it?" 

"See for yourself," I say, returning my attention to the material plane and guiding Obi-Wan along with me. When he sees what Luke and Rey are up to, he smiles warmly. He still hasn't relaxed his lifelong Jedi discipline, but there is immense joy behind that smile.

"That boy has done all right," he says. "You know, watching them almost makes me wonder whatever happened to my old lightsaber - oh. Right. The Death Star."

"Actually..." I can't meet his eyes. "I took it with me and kept it as a trophy." _Because that's what Sith Lords do,_ I think. I know he can sense my thoughts, but confessing what I did was hard enough without elaborating on it.

He isn't really surprised to learn this. "And then what?"

"I put it in a display case in my house, on Vjun."

"Is it still there?"

"It might be, unless it got looted. Why?"

"I would like to conduct an experiment. Could you show me the way there?"

"Are you _really_ sure you want to go there? It was a domain of evil _long_ before my time, and it probably always will be."

"I'm sure."

"All right. Here goes." I take hold of Obi-Wan's hand and focus on my memories of the time I spent on Vjun, using them like a homing beacon to guide my consciousness back to the distant Outer Rim world. Obi-Wan stays with me, and we manifest on the planet's surface.

This place is just as strong with the Dark Side as ever - and now that we're beings of light, the darkness here is practically suffocating to us. Fear presses in on all sides, sapping our energy. _This must be what it's like to be on a planet with the wrong atmosphere for your species,_ I think. Even though our surroundings are familiar to me, I can't see them very well - the Dark Side manifests as a thick, black fog that obscures everything around us. Instinctively, I activate my lightsaber again - but this time, it's brighter than I can ever remember it being, so bright that it makes me look away for a moment. I feel stronger. I give it an experimental wave, and find that the black fog dissipates at the touch of my blade.

" _Wizard!_ " I exclaim, using my lightsaber to clear a circle around myself and Obi-Wan. "You all right?"

"I'm fine," he says. "How are you doing that?"

"I guess it must be made of the same kind of energy as we are. Just a lot more concentrated. I wonder..." Experimentally, I hold the hilt in one hand and gently brush my fingertips against the blade. "It feels all tingly and numb," I report, shaking my hand down and to the side, "kind of like what those power coupling beams on podracers do to you. It doesn't seem to do any damage, though."

"Very interesting," says Obi-Wan. "Now where is this house we're going to?"

I look down at my boots - as I thought. "We're standing on the landing platform," I say. "Look there." I hold up my saber and point with it.

The dark, brooding form of Bast Castle towers above us. Its tall spire still looms menacingly over the shoreline at the bottom of the cliff on which it stands. Even though it's clearly been abandoned for years, the Dark Side is concentrated around it just as strongly as if the lord of the castle had left only yesterday.

"You lived _here?_ " Obi-Wan says.

"If you could call it living," I answer. "But yes, when I wasn't out in the field."

Obi-Wan nods. He remembers what it's like to fight in a war.

I grip my saber more tightly and march forward, using it to cut through the fog as if I were an explorer hacking away vines in a dense, uncharted jungle. I start trying to cut a hole in the door and am momentarily surprised when nothing happens, but then I remember that I don't need to do that anymore, and simply pass through it.

The impressive entry hall is dominated by an enormous, obsidian statue of my alter ego. Obi-Wan raises an eyebrow at me. "Let me guess," he says. "That's what Sith Lords do?"

"Yeah," I say, embarrassed. "We may have been a _little_ excited about finally being out of hiding. Anyway, this way."

I continue to slice my way through the fog toward our destination. Halfway up the grand, sweeping staircase leading to the second-floor gallery, I pause. "I just realized I'm haunting my old house," I say. "What are we even doing here? We're Jedi, not ghosts from some - spooky children's story." I'd almost said "...some old Sith legend." I'm _not_ one of those... am I?

"And we're here to learn more about the Force," says Obi-Wan. "I don't enjoy being here, either, but the sooner we get to that display case, the sooner we can leave."

"True." I lead the way to the top of the stairs and around a corner, where there is a long, spacious hallway filled with windows and display cases. "Welcome to the trophy hall," I say. "Your lightsaber's down that way."

Obi-Wan turns aside, his eye caught by the contents of the first display case we pass: a distinctive, curved lightsaber hilt. "Is that what I think it is?" he asks me.

"Yes."

"So you... Does that mean...?" The implications of finding this particular lightsaber in Darth Vader's trophy room horrify him, and rightly so.

"Yes," I say. This is turning into a day for confessions. "I did win that duel. Dooku surrendered. And then I let Sidious talk me into cutting his head off. With that lightsaber, and my own."

It's as painful for Obi-Wan to learn the whole story as it is for me to recount it. All he says is, "I'm amazed it survived that landing."

"So was I. Palpatine had one of the clones get it from the crash site, so he could give it to me later - thinking five moves ahead, as always. We both knew that the moment I killed Dooku was the moment I truly started to fall. I'm just glad you were unconscious and didn't have to watch." Regret washes over me in a wave, bringing with it the anger, hatred, and fear from those long-ago days. The Dark Side sees its opening and seizes it, slithering its way back into my mind - unwelcome, but familiar.

Suddenly, the world is tinted red - _oh, Sithspit, am I in the past?_ \- but no, the lenses I'm looking through are too narrow, and that constant respirator sound is conspicuously absent. The head-up display's layout, on the other hand, is remarkably accurate, given the limited space - and there's only one person with the dedication to recreate it so faithfully. This is a vision not of the past, but of the _present_ \- I'm watching through my grandson's eyes as he unleashes his rage on yet another perfectly good control panel, slashing it to melted ruins with his red blade. That invasive tendril of Dark energy must have taken my remembered negative feelings and amplified them, making them strong enough for young Ben to sense them, even from so far away. He's wasted no time using them as inspiration for his own Dark persona. I hadn't realized until just now that _he_ can sense _my_ feelings when they're aligned with his.

"No!" I cry out, reaching for the Light in an effort to escape the vision. I don't have to search very far - Obi-Wan is already reaching out to bring me back to myself again. In an instant, the blade that I see before me changes from sputtering red to steady blue. I am swinging it in a fierce downward arc, into the display case and right through the center of Dooku's old lightsaber. The ethereal blue blade doesn't affect the physical objects at all, but a glimmer of crimson energy boils away from the curved hilt into the Force.

I stare into the case, uncomprehending. All the black fog has vanished from within it, and the lightsaber itself no longer has the Dark energy signature it once did. I feel the darkness draining away from my mind, too.

"Anakin?" Obi-Wan says from right beside me, and I realize his arm is reaching across my shoulders. "Are you all right?"

"I think so," I say. "Just shaken."

"Let me see your eyes." I look into his. "You're all right. What happened just now? A vision?"

"Mm-hm."

"Your grandson again?" His tone is sympathetic.

"Yes. My memories opened the door for the Dark Side to come back in for a moment. Ben sensed my hatred and started destroying things with his lightsaber again. I should not have come back here."

Obi-Wan looks into the case that contains Dooku's lightsaber. "But look what you just did. The Dark is _gone_ from it. Did you know you could do that?"

"No, I didn't... I feel better now, too."

"That's good. Shall we get on with the mission?"

"Yes. The cases are in chronological order."

I lead him past several other display cases - they contain both Sith and Jedi holocrons (the latter is a souvenir from Operation Knightfall - I look away, _refusing_ to allow myself to remember), medals with the Imperial crest on them, a now-defunct holoprojector that once displayed an artist's rendering of the first Death Star, and various other artifacts - and there it is. The spotlight that once illuminated it is long dead, but the display case is still intact, and Obi-Wan's lightsaber hasn't been stolen. Obi-Wan approaches slowly, then places a translucent hand through the case. Of course, it also passes through the hilt.

"We already know we can't touch things," I say.

"I wasn't trying to," he says. "Let me concentrate."

He cups his hand over the hilt and concentrates, as if trying to levitate it... no, not quite... as if trying to read its history through the Force. Which, of course, he already knows. What exactly is he up to?

Gradually, a blue mist appears around the lightsaber hilt, then pulls away from it into Obi-Wan's outstretched hand. He is now holding an ethereal copy of his old lightsaber, much like the one I'm using to illuminate the room.

He opens his eyes and smiles. "It worked!"

"That was a pretty neat trick," I say. "Congratulations."

"Thank you, my friend." He removes the ghostly saber from the display case, activates it, and begins stepping around the room with it, cutting a wide swath through the pervasive Dark Side energy. He attacks one of the more obscure Sith artifacts, sees that his lightsaber has the same purifying effect as mine, and laughs. "This is incredible!" he exclaims.

This day is getting stranger and stranger. We've gone from "I'm haunting my old house" to "my best friend is vandalizing my old house, and is clearly having the time of his (after)life doing so, and not only do I not mind, I'm happy about it, too." I can't help but smile at the absurdity of it all. "Having fun, Obi-Wan?" I ask.

"I haven't had a chance to fight back against the darkness like this in years!" he calls out. I'm startled to see that he has transformed into a younger version of himself - the brother I remember from the Clone Wars.

"Obi-Wan! You're back to your old self again!" I tell him, laughing.

"It certainly feels like it!" he answers.

"No, seriously - come over here and take a look at yourself!" We're on the night side of the planet, so the glow cast by our luminous forms and our lightsabers reflects off the windows in the room, allowing us to see our reflections in them. Obi-Wan comes over and joins me by the window.

"Oh, my stars!" he exclaims. "How did _that_ happen?"

"Don't ask me, I didn't do anything!" I say, grinning. It's so good to see him like this again.

"Well, this is a pleasant surprise," he says, running a hand through the auburn hair and beard that he hasn't seen in decades.

In the reflection in the window, I see a curling eddy of black fog moving through the room. I turn around to see that the fog is already starting to fill in the gaps in the air that we've carved out with our lightsabers. I know that it would take much more than the efforts we've made today to drive the darkness from this castle fully.

"Maybe we should go home," I say. "We got what we came here for."

"I agree, let's go," Obi-Wan says. All we have to do is turn our conscious attention away from Vjun, and we are instantly returned to the metaphysical plane that we now call home. Being back in the realm of the Light is a tremendous relief.

"Looks like we learned a lot from your experiment," I say. 

"We certainly did," says Obi-Wan. "I wanted to learn whether anyone could manifest one of these... spirit lightsabers, or if it was just you. It really does feel like you got a missing part of yourself back, doesn't it?"

"Exactly," I say. "And you wanted that, too." I chuckle a little. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I guess I'm glad I saved it now."

Obi-Wan smiles. "So am I. Thank you. And thank you for that little adventure. I thought I had gotten too old for that sort of thing, but" - he laughs - "apparently not. It looks like the ability to return to one's former appearance isn't unique to you, either."

"You looked so happy back there, so... in your element. Maybe that's why you look young again." I'm struck by an idea. "Hey, now that we have two of these things, care for a sparring match?"

Obi-Wan shakes his head sadly. "No, thank you. I'm afraid it would bring back memories I'd rather not relive."

"Neither would I. Sorry I asked." I've relived them far, far too many times, used them as fuel for the fires of rage and hatred that have now gone out forever. Or at least, I'd thought they had, until that vision I had just now.

"Perhaps I could step in, Anakin?" Master Windu offers. "With your permission, Obi-Wan."

"Of course," says Obi-Wan, offering his lightsaber.

"Thank you, Master Windu," I answer, "but... like Obi-Wan said, there's a memory there that I'd rather not relive. No thanks."

"I accept your challenge," another voice says suddenly.

"Master Qui-Gon!" I say.

"I told you, you don't have to call me that," he says.

"Sorry. Old habit." We've discussed this before. Thanks to that same mysterious awakening in the Force that allowed Master Windu to speak to me again and reconcile with me, Qui-Gon finally gained the ability to manifest as a spirit like the rest of us, and we got a chance to catch up. He believes that since we've all become one with the same Force, it's foolish to continue to maintain the hierarchy we had in our earlier lives. He has a good point, but I can't shake the habit.

"I was wondering when you would join this party," says Obi-Wan. "It's good to see you."

"You, too," says Qui-Gon. He then turns to me. "Young man, I've sensed you've been a little bored with floating around doing nothing."

I chuckle at being called 'young man.' I do _remember_ living to be forty-six; then again, that still makes me the youngest member of this social circle. "You bet I have," I answer.

"Well, as the only one here who has no previous track record with you" - this is tinged with sadness and regret - "I'd be honored to join you in a sparring match."

"As would I," I say. "I really do appreciate it. I can't wait to show you how much I've learned. Obi-Wan taught me very well."

"Thank you," says Obi-Wan modestly - but I can sense him thinking, _It means so much to me to hear you say that. For all those years, I believed I was the galaxy's biggest failure..._ He doesn't bring this up now, though, because he's eager to watch our duel. I'll have to talk to him about it later.

"I'm sure he did," says Qui-Gon, turning to face me and moving to remove his brown cloak. We're both thinking the same things - _can we take these off? What happens if we let go of them?_ \- but as we go through the ritual motion, it becomes clear that the answers are "yes" and "just what you expect to happen" - they lie in heaps on the horizontal plane that our collective imagination has arbitrarily designated as "the floor" for purposes of this sparring match.

Obi-Wan hands his lightsaber to Qui-Gon. We bow to each other and activate our sabers. Qui-Gon steps toward me and begins probing my reflexes and defenses.

This isn't moving fast enough for me. "Come on," I say, beginning to circle him. "I'm not a kid anymore, I'm a grown man."

"You can still see things before they happen, right?" Qui-Gon answers, attacking suddenly on the last syllable.

My saber blocks his attack. "Absolutely."

The match speeds up and intensifies from there. I find myself having to rely on my precognition and my hearing more than usual, since the blue of our surroundings makes it harder to see the saber blades coming. It's strange to be dueling here in this empty blue nothing. Pretty much every single real saber duel I've ever been in has at least had some interesting terrain to take advantage of. Here, there's nothing but us, our wits, and our skills with a blade. Qui-Gon is an excellent sparring partner for me; it was always a rare treat to get to fight someone as tall as I was, in either half of my life. This was the art to which I dedicated so much of my life and dear _Force,_ doing this again after so long feels _good, especially_ now that I'm free of that damn mechanical suit. My heart soars on the winds of the Force that blow around us.

My lightsaber's hilt begins vibrating with more than just the clash of blade on blade. Someone else's Force energy resonates through it. Something suddenly flashes into the edge of my vision. Sunlight, rocks. The sound of ocean waves crashing. Both Qui-Gon and I turn to look and abruptly find ourselves standing on a grassy island under a blue sky. Before us are two figures engaged in a sparring match of their own - Luke and Rey.

Qui-Gon and I are both so surprised to be here that we break off our own duel and stare at our new surroundings. The other two duelists notice us, stop, and stare back at us. There is a silent moment of mutual shock, and then Rey breaks the silence with a laugh.

"Artoo," she says, "thanks for your input, but I don't think we really need a history holo right now. We were doing all right on our own."

Luke laughs at this. "Oh, this isn't Artoo's doing." He nods to acknowledge us. "Hello, Father. Hello - _Obi-Wan?_ Is that really you?"

I turn abruptly and see that Obi-Wan, still looking thirty-five, has appeared here with us. "Hello, Luke," he says. "I'd explain, but I'm not sure I understand it myself."

"Wait a minute," says Rey to Luke. "'Father?' Then he's... You're..." She gapes at me.

"Don't be afraid of me!" I exclaim - her fear is palpable in the Force. "I'm on your side. Luke, please tell me you told her the truth about me."

"Of course I did!" says Luke. "I told her about everything I went through to become a Jedi. Father, Obi-Wan, this is my new apprentice, Rey. Rey, I'd like you to meet my father, Anakin Skywalker, and my first Jedi mentor, Obi-Wan Kenobi." He then turns to Qui-Gon. "I don't believe we've met. I'm Luke Skywalker. You must be a friend of theirs?"

"Yes. I'm Qui-Gon Jinn. It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Luke. I've heard all about you from Obi-Wan and your father. I take it Obi-Wan must not have mentioned me?"

"No, I don't think so."

"There wasn't time for a history lesson," Obi-Wan says. "Everything happened too quickly. Luke, Qui-Gon was the _second_ Jedi master who instructed me, after Yoda."

"Oh," says Luke, impressed. "It's an honor to meet you." He and Qui-Gon unthinkingly go to shake hands with each other, but Luke's passes right through his. They bow to each other instead.

Rey deactivates her lightsaber and steps forward, also bowing. "Pleased to meet you all as well," she says. "I'm sorry I was afraid of you at first, but I... certainly didn't think I'd ever meet a ghost, especially not..."

"The man you're so afraid of doesn't exist anymore," I say firmly to Rey. To at least some degree, I'm also trying to reassure myself of this, after that vision. "I am the Jedi Knight who was Obi-Wan's student, and who built that lightsaber. It connects you to me. I can sense when you're using it. I think that was what drew us here."

"I knew this thing was haunted the first time I picked it up," Rey says.

"That's... the wrong word for it. I'm connected to that lightsaber, but not bound to it. I'm _free._ Being one with the Force means you can travel to anywhere in the galaxy where life exists."

"So you won't just appear out of thin air every time I try to fight anybody?"

"No. I'll know when you do, but I won't interfere."

"All right, good. That wasn't you who spoke to me the first time I held it, was it?"

"Actually, that was me," Obi-Wan says. "It's a pleasure to meet you properly, Rey."

"Master Luke said you were the one who gave him this lightsaber," says Rey. "Was that why you spoke to me?"

"Yes. I was glad it had finally called to someone else."

A flicker of self-doubt crosses Rey's face. I catch it and send her a wave of encouragement.

"You certainly didn't look like _that_ when you gave it to me, though," says Luke.

"We've all been learning a lot of new things about the Force today," says Obi-Wan. "I just discovered that we could change our appearance a little while ago. We also discovered a new dimension to the idea that one's lightsaber is a part of one's soul."

"That's how they can exist with you as part of the Force, even though they were never living things."

"Exactly. You've grown very wise, Luke." Obi-Wan smiles.

"Why were you fighting each other, anyway?" Rey asks.

"For practice, same as you," I answer.

"He was bored," Qui-Gon says, chuckling.

Rey is thoughtful, curious. "Is it boring, being dead?"

"Not at all!" says Qui-Gon. "I've been a student of the Living Force all my life. Now I actually get to be a _part_ of it. It's more amazing than you can possibly imagine."

"Then why were you bored?" she asks me.

"I guess I was never _as_ devoted as Qui-Gon was," I say. "Or Obi-Wan, or Yoda. The only thing I was ever _that_ devoted to was my family."

Now, Luke looks thoughtful. "May I assume you know of our current problems?" he says.

"I know them only too well," I say. "And I will do whatever I can to help you set things right."

"Thank you, Father." He looks from me to Obi-Wan, then back. "Maybe it's time for that history lesson."

"Certainly," says Obi-Wan. "Anything you or Rey want to know about."

"Why don't you all come inside so we can talk?" says Luke. "You can stay, too, Master Jinn."

"Thank you. And please, call me Qui-Gon."

"All right." Luke leads the way to the home he's built here.

* * *

In order for Obi-Wan and I to become good friends again, we had to go through a lot of catharsis and talk about many things. I'd thought I had put my whole Dark past behind me and would never need to speak of it again. Now, all Luke wants to know is how Kylo Ren got to be the person he is, and all Rey wants to hear about is who exactly this mysterious figure he idolizes so much was. Just great. I can't fault Rey for her priorities, though - her focus on knowing her enemy is admirable. I tell her so, and then go on to tell her what she needs to know about turning to the Dark Side, and how to recognize and resist the temptation. We end up back on the topic of lightsabers. I explain that Kylo's is red because it's traditional for users of the Dark Side to use red ones.

"So do they just take your old, good lightsaber away as soon as you sign up and hand you a new one?" Rey asks.

"No," I say. "You still have to build the new one to your own liking, which takes time. When you've just turned, you use whatever saber you happen to have at the time... which, in my case, was that one."

" _What?_ " Rey exclaims in horror.

"Don't be afraid. I didn't use it as Darth Vader for very long. I promise you, it's perfectly safe now. I can feel it. It's only been used for good since then. That's because _someone_ held on to hope for the future and decided to keep it for the next generation, instead of just leaving it there." I smile at Obi-Wan.

"Leaving it where?" says Rey. "Sounds like there's a story to tell here."

"A story I've never heard, either," agrees Luke.

Obi-Wan and I look at each other - _You talk first? I talk first?_ I think.

"On Mustafar," I say finally. "We dueled. I lost. He took it with him when he left."

Luke is a bit surprised. "You dueled each other... and you _lost?_ "

"Everything was different then," Obi-Wan and I say at the same moment.

"I was a much younger man -" Obi-Wan continues. "- I mean, it was before you were born -"

"And I was a cocky idiot drunk on power," I add. "Rey, don't ever do a flip over your opponent's head."

Rey looks at me inquisitively. "Why not?"

Great. Now we have to tell them the whole story. "I guess we should start at the beginning," I say.

"How far back do you want to go?" Obi-Wan says.

"We could start with what we were doing on Mustafar to begin with. My Ma - _Palpatine_ sent me there to... to _dispose of_ all the remaining leaders of the Separatist movement. Which... I did. And Obi-Wan had..."

"...I had been sent there to defeat the Sith."

When I don't continue, Obi-Wan steps in to do most of the actual telling of the story. He always was better at that than me. I interject something occasionally, but most of the time, I gaze into the distance, lost in my memories.

Obi-Wan comes to the end of the duel and says, "The last thing we ever said to each other before the duel that you witnessed was..."

"...that I hated him," I finish for him. I regret it even more than I regretted Dooku's death when I looked back on it earlier. As I recall what it felt like to hate that intensely, the Dark Side surges over the wall I've built and floods my awareness once again. It takes hold and pulls me irresistibly, like a Sarlacc's tentacle, toward one of its current focal points - the one to which I already have an established connection. 

I find myself standing in an all-too-familiar, semi-darkened room, with only one other person in it. The red tint to the world has returned - and so has the old, familiar HUD layout and all the rest of my old armor, I realize with a sickening shock. My grandson gazes up at me.

"Grandfather?" he says in awe. "Is it really you? You've really come to me?"

"I - you can _see_ me?" My voice comes out artificially deepened and distorted, as it used to.

"Yes, Lord Vader. I wait on your wisdom." He bends down to one knee, bowing his masked head. _That must be exactly how I looked when I..._

"Don't _do_ that!" I snap at him. I extend a hand and set him on his feet with the Force. My black-gloved, spectral hands are outlined in a red glow, and the air around us is filled with the ghostly sound of a respirator. I don't feel the associated sensation, nor any of the old pain, but I do feel different from what I now think of as "normal." Unlike the Light, which feels like being wrapped in the warmth of a sunny day or a loving embrace, the Dark feels like flames licking your skin - a faint, but relentless echo of that awful sensation.

I let the moment of anger pass. My grandson can actually see and hear me - I can't let the opportunity go to waste. "Ben," I say. "Please, listen to me. What you see and hear now is only what you _expect_ to see and hear. This is not who I really am."

"I don't understand," Ben says. "I can feel your power. I've been trying to speak with you for so long..."

"I've been listening."

"Why now? Why haven't you ever spoken to me before?"

"I've tried. Where did you think the call to the Light was coming from?"

Ben is now totally bewildered. "Yes," I go on. "That was me. I've been a part of the Light since before you were born. You haven't been able to see or hear me because you turned away from it. Please, Ben, come back. Your family misses you. Including me."

"That... can't be true," says Ben. "That's impossible. You were the greatest Dark Lord of the Sith who ever lived!"

He says this with such _reverence._ "That title does _not_ make one great," I say. "Please don't aspire to it." I nod at the faded, melted helmet on its morbid altar. "How did your Master tell you he got that?"

"It fell onto the Endor moon after the second Death Star exploded and killed you and your Master. He found it there."

"That was not how it happened. It was I who destroyed the Emperor to save Luke's life. When I did, the evil man that the galaxy knew as Darth Vader was destroyed. Luke believed that the good man who had been his father could still be saved - and he was right. He tried to take me with him when he escaped from the station, but the battle had damaged my life-support system beyond repair. I did get to say goodbye to him as my true self, though."

Ben still doesn't believe me. "Then how..." He indicates the helmet.

"When Luke landed on the Endor moon, he held a funeral for me there. And when he lit the funeral pyre, he said: 'I burn this armor and with it the name of Darth Vader. May the name of Anakin Skywalker be a light that guides the Jedi for generations to come.'" _Damn vocoder._ It sounded a lot more inspiring when Luke said it.

My grandson stares at me. He says nothing, but I can sense the conflict in him. If I could only speak to him as my true self...

As gently and compassionately as I can, I reach into the Force and trace the tangled threads of conflict in my grandson's mind - one of them leads back to the Light. I follow it and draw on the power of the Light Side, trying to use it to crack the illusory armor from the inside - and it works. The red tint vanishes from my vision, and from my grandson's reaction, he has seen my true face - but only for a moment. Our connection is fading - we're no longer tuned in to the same comm channel, so to speak.

"You see?" I say, in my own voice. "I'm your _real_ grandfather. I love you, Ben Solo."

I disappear from Ben's private chamber and find myself once again hauled through metaphysical space by a force like a tractor beam. I reappear - where am I? .... Oh. Right where I had been, in Luke's house, and back in my young, un-fallen form. Then I realize that Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon, Luke, and Rey have all been pulling together, combining their power to bring me back to them. They're all staring at me with mingled concern and relief.

"Are you all right?" Qui-Gon says. I nod, still trying to recover from the shock of the sudden transitions.

"I thought I'd lost you again," says Obi-Wan. "I didn't realize that going through all those memories again would..."

"It wasn't just that," I explain. "It was my grandson. He finally did what he's been trying to do all these years and..." - I _hate_ that I have to say this - "...summoned Darth Vader."

Rey's fear stabs at me again. "There's nothing to be afraid of, Rey," I say. "I'm not Darth Vader. I chose not to be a long time ago. Ben is the only one who still believes in him. He wants to be as strong as Darth Vader was - and if there's one way in which he already is, it's his hatred and anger. He's as immersed in them as I was. Whenever I remember what that felt like, he can sense it and... _that_... happens."

"What exactly happened?" Rey asks. "He saw you? As Darth Vader?"

"Yes. He saw me exactly as you remember." I nod to Luke and Obi-Wan. "Except that I hadn't forgotten who I was. Oh - Obi-Wan, I discovered that we can voluntarily control our appearance. The key is to have a strong enough sense of who you are. And I told Ben who I really am. I told him about Endor. And I told him that I loved him."

"So he's seen you as _you_ ," Obi-Wan says.

"Yes. Just like all of you can see me right now. Only for a moment, but I hope it helps him find his way back."

"So do I," says Luke quietly. As I look into his sad, old eyes and Rey's bright, intense, determined ones, I suddenly feel very old myself. The mantle of _Hero_ , of _Chosen One,_ weighs heavily on me.

"I've done what I can for him," I say to Luke and Rey. "I have a feeling that if he ever does turn back, it will be one of you who leads him the rest of the way there."

Rey nods. "I will, if I can. Master Luke taught me how important it is to see the good in people."

I smile at her. "Then he has taught you well. You really were meant to become a great Jedi, and that lightsaber really was meant to be yours."

For the first time, she seems happy and accepting of this. "Thank you," she says with a smile. The mantle feels that much lighter.

"Forgive me, but I must leave you all for now," I say. "I need to rest. What I've been through today has been... _exhausting._ "

"Shall we continue our sparring match some other time, then?" Qui-Gon says.

"Some other time," I agree. "I'll see you later."

I release my focus on the material plane, allowing myself to sink back into the Force. The Light welcomes me home, enfolding me in healing and peace, and I know nothing else.


End file.
